I had recently broken up with my fiance of three years because we simply drifted apart. There was not much to communicate and it seemed that we no longer had something new to talk about our selves and our likes in the bedroom.
As a sad result, the excitement in the bedroom had become none. We were no longer attracted to each other.
At first, I noticed on how easily aroused I became by many simple things by merely rephrasing statements made by my friends in normal conversation. Then by seeing other guys in the prime of their lives walking around the college campus.
I don’t know how I managed, but I kept to myself while out in public. However, when I got home, I found that I became interested in porn sites.
What had gotten over me? A year ago, I would have not been interested at all since I knew that I had a partner for that special satisfaction.
The nights passed, and I ended up laying awake in my bed with my thoughts on other matters. Eventually they became bits and pieces of a more elaborate and very personal fantasy.
One night I reached my breaking point and had an orgasm just by thinking about it.
A few nights after this happened repeatedly, I felt that I needed more and did not pay attention to what my hands were doing until I arched up unexpectedly as I reached another orgasm.
It turned out that my hand had only gently rubbed against my soft cotton bikini underwear but never actually touched skin.
Luckily I was fairly comfortable with myself and did not feel ashamed, but rather fascinated on how far a little stimulation could go.
As more nights passed, I wanted more and actually used my fingers to give myself pleasure.
After a single orgasm I would ease back, tired and content and had a relaxing nights sleep.
When it was that time of the month, I didn’t dare touch myself because I didn’t want to deal with the mess. So I resorted to go back to have the fantasies run through my mind, but I still wanted to be truly satisfied.
When that agonizing week was over and after a long warm bath, my mind was still on the same thing. I was beginning to wonder if this is what guys felt at their sexual peak. It was just driving me crazy!
The feelings and the basic urge stayed with me as I dressed for bed and I once again laid there thinking.
First, I tried to take it slow. There must be a reason to why I was feeling like this.
With the fantasies racing though my mind and no orgasm, I tried my fingers but that only succeeded in teasing me and making me want something deep inside me.
But I was out of luck, I had no toys so I spent some time thinking about what I should use. I thought about using a handle to a brush, but I didn’t want to be reminded of what I had done the next day when I had to brush my hair to go to class, so I was left with nothing but disappointment.
I did not have a good night’s sleep that night and when I came back home, I found that I could not work on my homework assignments. Especially since it was from one class that I had that was the study of human sexuality.
As I read through my textbook, it said that when a female masturbates, it will have the added bonus of ‘cleaning’ out her vagina with her orgasms, provided that the area is carefully cleaned immediately after.
That did not help much as those same thoughts became over whelming. Finally I put my books away and looked around my room to try to find an object that I could use that would help me out, but for the same reason as the hairbrush handle, I could not find one that was suitable.
Then an idea dawned on me.
Instead of looking up porn for women on the internet, I looked up sex toys and read up on it. I decided that I would like to try a vibe rather than a dildo because if I found that I didn’t like the vibrations, I could always turn it off and simply use it as a dildo. Also, as I did more homework on the subject, I figured that a waterproof toy would be the best choice since it would make cleaning it much easier. I was not to excited over the slim and sleek models so I wanted mine to be realistic in shape and texture, but color could be whatever that was available.
Then it came down to figuring out what size I wanted. I was so hot, that I was thinking about having a massive toy like one of those called the Emperor that was about 10 inches long and almost 3 inches thick! But I had to be more reasonable since just about every FAQ on the subject clearly stated that beginners should start out with a toy that was a modest size.
That was the last thing that I wanted! I didn’t want to be stuck with a toy that was only 4 inches!
As these facts, thoughts, and needs swirled around my head, I finally gave in and got the money together to buy one.
I had a budget of 50 dollars and I looked carefully at the selections on various websites.
I found one that I thought that would be suitable. Something that was about 7 inches and life like in shape, but it was blue in color. I filled out the form but opted to change my mind before I clicked on the submit button. (It was not about the security of using a credit card number on the net since I have had a job in web design, and had more faith in security. I was the one paid to deliberately hack into systems to test the security so I had an understanding on how it worked.)
Was I sure that this was what I wanted? I didn’t know.
So I leaned back into my chair frustrated. What was I going to do?
I had lost track of the time, but nether-the-less I glanced at it and saw that it was only 7 PM.
I had another idea, and picked up a phone book and found a number to an adult store that had advertisements on TV (They said that they were an adult factory outlet … I have no idea on how they managed to get air time during prime time, but hey, gotta love cable TV.)
Trying to keep my voice calm as I could, I called them up to simply ask them about their hours. I was in luck, they were open until 2 AM. I then asked for directions and learned that I would have to drive to the other side of town.
I turned off my computer and grabbed my purse and keys and walked out the door, telling my roommates that I was going to one of my hangout spots for a while (the Barnes and Noble bookstore) to find a new book on programming and that I would be there for a while.
I was just about shaking with nerves driving across town. I have never thought about doing something like this before. What was I getting into?
I figured that I still had one last chance to turn back and it was to stop to get some gas and have something else to think about for a few minutes, but that did not deter me. I was back on the road en route to this place that says that they had the biggest selection in Central Florida.
When I made it to the parking lot, my hands were shaking a lot. I finally told myself that the worst thing that could happen was that I would just walk around, look like some under-aged idiot, buy nothing and go home.
Right. There was no harm in just looking.
By the front door, I was immediately greeted by a fat man who was disgusting looking and gave me one of the sleaziest smiles that I have ever seen. I just nodded back and was quickly distracted by a young man who asked for my ID.
So I showed him. He studied it carefully. My ID said that I was 22, but I looked younger. A lot younger with all of the neon lights in the streets.
Finally he nodded and told me to have a nice evening, and I walked inside.
The front of the store looked rather innocent with nothing but greeting cards, batteries, store catalogs and two registers, but I could see the massive room in the back.
I took my time browsing through the cards. Some of them were rather funny and worth coming back to get gag gifts later. I had almost forgotten why I had driven across town to get to this store until I saw two ladies come up to a register to pay for their purchases.
I had never felt like such a kid at that moment as one of them who was about in their mid 30’s noticed that I was watching them.
I casually broke eye contact and made my way to large two-story room in the back.
I must have drawn a lot of attention as an older man looked up from the video selection shelf and look at me. Then returned to what he was doing.
I guess that I must have stuck out, considering that I was a ‘young girl’ all by herself in a place like this.
The bottom floor had items mainly for men and I made my way up to the second floor.
There were other women there, looking at the selection, and strangely, that made me feel a bit more at ease. They must have been look for the same thing that I was looking for too.
I saw one that struck an image in my memory, the one item that was called ‘The Emperor’. I looked at it and it didn’t take long for me to realize that it was bigger than what I was used to. (All of my previous partners in the past … uh, three to honest, were about 5 inches or less, but I loved the foreplay that made up for it)
I looked at the selection, there was so many to choose from, and they were about 40 bucks! I had to choose carefully, I wanted to make sure that I was satisfied with my purchase.
As I stood there, I recalled the criteria that I had in mind for what I wanted: life-like in shape and texture, and a water-proof vibe, to make things simple. So I started to carefully look at that selection and noticed that there were two women who were interested a particular model and had managed to open it just enough to slip their fingers into the package to feel the material.
When they moved on to another section, I looked at what they were looking at a few moments before and like them, slid my fingers inside the package expecting to feel a hard rigid material but was surprised on how soft it was but yet firm. It was made of silicone and transparent that covered a metal inner casing for the vibe itself. It was also water-proof. The size was something more realistic for me. It was about 7 inches by my guess and had just about right thickness.
I made a mental note of it and continued to browse. There were some anal toys that perked my interest but I had to make those wait for another time.
I must have spent 45 minutes browsing, while taking breaks to look at the bondage and lingerie items that didn’t seem to interest me.
When I decided that I had seen enough, I went back to what I had found so far and looked further back on the shelf to find an unopened package. I also had the luxury to choose a purple one. (Purple is my favorite color) I also grabbed a small package of water-based lubricant to try out.
Timidly, I walked up to the register and as casually as I could, place the items down to check out. I could remember the piercing eyes on one black woman who had just waked in and the items had caught her eye. Man, did that make me feel uncomfortable.
I tuned it out and she walked away but I got a good look at the guy at the register. Damn, he was so attractive! It was a pleasant reminder about why I wanted to go through with this.
Before he rang up my item, he took the vibe out of the package and inserted some batteries in it to test it out because they have a strict ‘no returns’ policy.
The vibe obediently came to life and he asked me if it was okay, I nodded. He turned it off, removed the batteries and asked if I wanted to buy some. I again nodded and used my card to complete the transaction.
When he mentioned about the returns policy, I said that it was a gag gift and probably would not be used anyway.
He gave me an unsurprised look. He must have heard that excuse too many times already. Especially by the way he exaggerated the word ‘gag’ when he responded to my comment.
It was a quick card transaction and I was back out side with my purchases.
The sleazy fat man was engrossed in a conversation with the other man who checked my ID earlier so I walked pass them unnoticed and retreated to my car.
As quickly (and safely) as I could, I got out of there and did not think about what I had done as if it was a very bad thing.
Before I walked into the house, I stuffed my purchases into my backpack and walked into the living room where I was asked by one of my roommates how did it go.
I made up a quick lie off the top of my head saying that the only books there (at the book store that I told them that I was going to) that were really useful were over 60 bucks so I didn’t get one.
Two long hours passed before I retired to my room and had a nice long bath.
Carefully, I pulled out the vibe out of the package and held it in my hand. Just by holding it, and feeling the soft texture and the life-like shape aroused me. Yet, this time, it was going to be different.
Putting the pieces together, I turned it on and it hummed quietly in my hands.
I pretty much looked at it at every possible angle, and it was like I was back in my fantasy.
I finished putting the rest of the packaging away and turned off the lights under the pretense that I was going to bed.
First, I tried to adjust the speed and it once again obediently obeyed my command. I set it on high and placed it on my chest.
That alone was arousing so I rubbed it over other parts of my body, carefully avoiding where it was supposed to go. I liked being teased and this was doing a good job of it!
It finally came to rest on my crouch over my underwear and it made me gasp in surprise.
I had never felt anything like it, and I wanted more!
It made its way under my panties and it rest itself against my opening.
It teased me like never before and I slipped my underwear onto the floor and added a little lubrication on the toy.
It slid around on the surface, but slowly burring itself inside of me. I had to moan into a pillow just to keep quiet.
Slowly it kept going deeper and deeper inside until it could go no farther.
It all happened so suddenly, as I found myself arched into the air and my body spasmed in incredible waves of pleasure. It was the best that I’ve had in a long time!
As the feeling subsided, I turned the vibe off, but left it there for a few minutes.
Now that it was over, I got up to clean myself and my toy off before putting it away in its new home in my drawer and I drifted off in one of the best night’s sleep that I’ve had in a while.
It has not even been a month since I got my new item and I have the credit card receipt to prove it too (I got it on the 4th and today is the 27th of the same month). I have already lost count on how many times I have used it already, but I still can’t believe on how all of what I had to go through to prove that maybe, I was right all along in needing something like this and really didn’t need to feel embarrassed or intimidated to own one. I’m actually thinking about getting another to add some variety.