Sex Tutorials: From Bedroom to Boudoir

Written By: C. Michael Smith
Your bedroom might just be the most important room in your home. Most people spend more time in their bedroom than they do in any other room in the house, if you think about it. It’s the place where you wrap up each day and the place where you start off each brand new day. Your bedroom can serve several purposes. When you are not sleeping, the bedroom can be a great retreat to relax, unwind, and escape from it all to read a book, listen to music, or spend time with someone special. It’s also the room where you probably do most of your lovemaking. One thing is for sure, the bedroom is not just for sleeping, anymore!

Let’s talk about how to turn your bland bedroom into a beautiful boudoir. Whether you just need a few ideas to help spice up an already sexy bedroom or you need a complete bedroom makeover, the tips that follow will help you transform your bedroom into a romantic and relaxing retreat, perfect for a getaway from your hectic schedule or for indulging in a romantic rendezvous with your partner.

The perfect bedroom should elicit an emotional response, radiate romance and relaxation, project sensuality, and help you forget all of life’s stresses. When you enter the perfect bedroom, you can’t help but feel relaxed and sexy. All of your worries and anxieties are left at the door.

“To me, a sexy bedroom is one where the passion just emotes from the walls.” Stephanie, 19

The key for great relaxation and romance lies in creating the perfect atmosphere and mood. In order to help create the perfect atmosphere and mood, your bedroom should appeal to each of your five senses. Let’s start by taking a look at the five senses. Evaluate your bedroom and find the areas that need the most help.

Sight: Is your bedroom appealing to the eyes? Does it appear warm, comfortable, romantic, sexy, inviting, uncluttered, and relaxing? The following tips will help your bedroom appeal to the sense of sight.

Lighting: The lighting in the perfect bedroom should generally be soft and low wattage. Consider installing a dimmer switch for your overhead light, so you can change the mood of the room easily. Colored bulbs or low wattage bulb will help, also.

3-way light bulbs in bedside lamps are great for reading in bed. Lamp shades can help tame bright light, as well.

If you like lamps in your bedroom, you can purchase lamps with a glass base at craft stores or home-improvement stores. The bases can be filled with something sexy like rose petals or other romantic items, for a creative, yet sexy look.

For special romantic evenings, candlelight is very popular. Candles can really add a romantic look to your bedroom. To symbolize a happy and close relationship, consider placing 2 candles close together.

Mirrors can really accentuate the lighting in your room, also. Consider placing romantic lighting, such as candles, in front of mirrors or even on top of mirrors to enhance their glow.

If you place a larger mirror on the wall opposite of a window, it will help reflect natural light and open the room up a bit.

If you place a mirror where you can see yourselves in bed, it can make a steamy lovemaking session downright hot!

Just for fun, and to mix things up a bit, you can try keeping a strobe light handy. Strobe lights can make your lovemaking session look like a dream sequence.

For another fun idea, you can also buy body paints that glow in the dark under blacklight. Of course you’ll need a blacklight, also.

Bed: The bed is the centerpiece of your bedroom. Buy the biggest bed that you can afford that will fit in your room. There’s nothing like having a large bed to play on.

Spice up your bed. Add a romantic bed tent or canopy to your existing bed, even if it isn’t a four-poster bed. This isn’t as expensive as you might think.

Or, make your own canopy. It’s cheap and easy. Just purchase several yards of sexy fabric from your local craft or fabric store. Next, screw eye hooks into the ceiling at each corner of your bed and run the fabric through the hooks so that it drapes near the ground, overhead, then down again. Do this on both sides of your bed. You can even add a third eyehook on each side of the bed right in the middle of the other two, for more control of the draping of the fabric. This will give you a look similar to that of a four-poster canopied bed for just a few bucks. How about turning your existing bed into a four-poster by purchasing a four-poster bed frame? You can also buy some drapes for it to give your bed a very romantic look.

Add lots of pillows to your bed. The more the merrier. Get pillows of different colors, fabrics, textures, and sizes. Imagine how sexy you will look propped against a mountain of soft, comfy pillows.

Rose petals can be sprinkled over your bed for a romantic, sexy look.

Colors: Paint is a very quick, easy, and affordable way to dramatically transform your room. Color really goes a long way to help create the mood of the room, so choose warm, inviting colors that make you feel your best.

Here is a list of colors along with the mood they can help create:

Pastels: romantic

Red: very passionate and sexy

Deep, rich purples: luxury and mystery

Blues, lavenders, & greens: cool, calming, subdued, nature-like, large and airy

Yellows, oranges, & golds: warm, cozy, and inviting If you want to avoid painting your walls with a strong color, then you can use a more neutral color like white, off-white, gray, or beige and then add color to your room with accessories. Wallpaper borders can be added to your painted walls to add detail and help incorporate your sense of style and personality into the room.

Other: An area rug can add richness and personality to your room. It can also help cover up any bad spots on your flooring. Small pictures of you and your partner in unusual frames will add a romantic and intimate touch to your room. Guys, how about adding a large framed picture of your lady to the wall? specializes in transforming your photos into pencil sketches, oil paintings, watercolor paintings, and much more. I’ve worked with them before and they do great work. Buy some romantic figurines and knick-knacks to showcase in your room. They can add a lot of personality and style. Consider buying a plant or two, such as ivy, for your bedroom. Plants recreate the feeling of nature and they freshen the air, too. If you have plain looking curtains, try spicing things up a bit by replacing them with billowy, lacy curtains. These look terrific and if you have a quiet, low-speed fan in the room, the curtains will sway back and forth, creating a billowy motion. Make sure you have some sexy clothes to wear in your bedroom, unless you prefer to prance around naked. Sexy clothes will ensure that YOU remain the focal point of the room, no matter how sexy and remarkable your bedroom is. Ladies, consider some sexy lingerie. And, men, when you climb into bed wearing the same dress socks and underwear that you’ve had on all day long, you aren’t really projecting your sexy-best. Try some glow in the dark body glitter to get your partner’s attention and keep things fun.

“The best thing you can do to make your room sexy, is clean it. Clean laundry piled on the dresser does not make for a sexy retreat.” Katie, 37

Sound: Our sense of hearing can really lend itself to creating a relaxing and sexy (or upbeat and spunky) mood. The following tips will help your bedroom appeal to the sense of sound.

Music can really add ambiance to your room and help create the perfect mood, whether soft, smooth, and relaxing, or upbeat and aggressive, so keep a small sound system handy along with your favorite CDs. In the heat of passion, it helps if your music source requires very little attention. You don’t want to have to get up in the middle of the action to flip the cassette or restart the CD. Auto-reverse and repeat are invaluable features on your audio system. Thick curtains can help eliminate distracting noises from outside and may also help muffle your own noises from your neighbors, if you know what I mean. Make sure if you have a phone in the bedroom that is has a ringer-off feature. Be sure to use it when you make love. Keep some dancing music handy. Have you ever danced naked with your partner?

Smell: Did you know that your nose is connected to the limbic system of the brain, which controls libido? Certain scents can evoke specific moods or memories and can also help induce sexual arousal. The following tips will help your bedroom appeal to the sense of smell.

Bed Linens: There are several ways to help keep your bed linens smelling sexy and wonderful. Try these:

Add several drop of your favorite aromatherapy oil to the softener section of your washing machine while you launder your sheets in hot water. Add several drops of your favorite aromatherapy oil to a small cotton handkerchief or washcloth and throw it in the dryer with your bed linens. Try spraying your sheets with a sheet scent spray, such as ‘Smooth as Velvet’. You can also dust some ‘Kama Sutra Honey Dust’ between your sheets. Honey dust absorbs perspiration and smells wonderful, too, and it won’t get sticky like a lot of powders.

You an also fill a spray bottle with water and add a few drops of your favorite essential oil and then spray it on your sheets. The scent is said to last for weeks.

Other: Fresh flowers not only smell great, but they look great, also, and can really catch your eye and evoke a romantic and sexy mood. Scented candles are terrific. Again, they serve a dual purpose. They not only smell great, but they look great, also Incense or potpourri can really add some great smelling mood to your room, also. Does your partner like it when you wear their favorite cologne/perfume? When my lady wears my favorite perfume to bed, I know she’s in the mood and the scent just drives me crazy with desire.

Don’t overdo it with scents. If you’re using scented sheets, fresh flowers, scented candles, incense, potpourri, and cologne or perfume all at once, you are more likely to produce an overwhelming and headache-inducing effect rather than the relaxing and sexy effect you are trying for.

Taste: Food and sex can often go hand in hand. Whether you use sexy finger food as erotic foreplay, you use food during sex, or you just get hungry afterwards, food is never too far removed from sex, it seems. The following tips will help your bedroom appeal to the sense of taste.

Fridge: Do you have room for a small fridge somewhere near your bed, out of sight, like in a closet? If so, you can keep supplies close at hand so you won’t have to run off to the kitchen for something to drink or some sexy food to play with or eat. Here are some ideas on how to stock it:

Cold drinks can be removed from the fridge and placed on coasters on the nightstand before sex for a nice refreshing break during sex or afterwards. Try some bottled water, champagne, or wine. Keep some ice handy for those cold drinks. And ice can be erotically fun to play with, also. Sexy finger foods like cheese, strawberries, whipped cream, chocolates, and other fresh fruit would make a terrific addition to your sex fridge. Sauces to drip on and suck off of your partner would also be great to have on hand. Why not consider honey, syrup, chocolate, strawberry, or another favorite sauce.

Other items to keep on hand: Bed tray for serving breakfast or a sexy snack in bed. Corkscrew for your adult beverages. Knife or cheese cutter. Set of champagne or wine glasses. Ice bucket to hold a chilling bottle of champagne or wine on the night stand or bedside table. Classy dish to serve your sexy finger foods on.

Just imagine the setting you could create with just a little preparation. In the candlelight, I see an elegant plate full of finger foods next to 2 waiting glasses of wine. Can you hear the soft music playing? Sounds sexy, huh?

Other ideas: After showering, lightly dust yourself with powdered sugar. Don’t tell your partner; they’ll just think you taste wonderful. Try applying some body toppings to each other. They can be a lot of fun to apply and they are even more fun to lick off. They come in several flavors, so pick your favorite.

Touch: Giving your bedroom a luxurious feel will really increase your ability to relax, get comfortable, and feel sexy. The following tips will help your bedroom appeal to the sense of touch.

Bed: Your bed is the focal point of your bedroom. It’s very important that your bed is cozy and comfortable. Here are some great tips to help you accomplish that:

Buy the biggest bed that you can afford financially and space-wise. A big bed is comfortable and gives you a lot of room to play without having to readjust as often or worry about falling off. One very important aspect of a comfortable bed is the mattress. Get the best mattress you can afford. Your comfort is worth it. If you can’t afford a really nice one, then consider buying a nice mattress topper, instead. One of the best things you can do for a soft, luxurious feeling is to buy nice sheets and pillowcases. Consider only buying sheets and pillowcases with at least a 200 thread-count. You may also want to consider buying silk or satin sheets and pillowcases. They feel absolutely wonderful against your skin and are extremely sexy. Some people don’t like silk or satin, though, because they slide around too much on them. If you are in a cold climate, flannel sheets and pillowcases can be just the thing to help you stay warm and invite cuddling on those chilly nights. Consider mixing your bedding textures. Try silk sheets with a satin pillow and a flannel blanket. Don’t keep your bed the same all the time.

Other ideas: “Keep some massage items handy, so you can take turns massaging each other. Items like soft, comfortable robes, massage oils, and scented lotions might come in real handy. Put together a basket of “texture toys”. These are things of many different textures that you can use to touch each other with. Consider things in flannel, chenille, feather, fur, velvet, fleece, wool, suede, leather, silk, satin, or cotton.

Other Things To Consider: Seating: If you have enough free floor space, consider adding a soft, comfortable, overstuffed chair to your bedroom that can be used for reading or for trying out new and exciting sexual positions. A cushioned bench can serve the same purpose as above, but if you can find one that doubles as a storage trunk, then it will help eliminate clutter, too. Try placing a trunk to the end of your bed for storage purposes.

Bedroom Don’ts: Some things just don’t promote a relaxing or romantic atmosphere and should therefore be excluded from any sexy bedroom.

Pictures of Mom: Imagine being in the heat of passion and catching a glimpse of mom over on the dresser looking at you. Need I say more?

Pictures of Exes: Not a good idea in the bedroom or anywhere, for that matter.

A Pesky Pet: A pesky pet that is always barking or coughing up a hairball can be a distraction when the mood gets romantic. Besides who wants their dog watching them make love or placing their cold nose in the most inappropriate place at the most inappropriate time. If you have a house pet or you even sleep with one, it may be a good idea to put them out of the room when the mood gets romantic.

Clutter: Nothing kills a romantic or relaxing mood faster than clutter. So be sure you have designated storage space for papers, work items, dirty laundry, clean laundry, keys, spare change, and other items. If you have a small bedroom, just eliminating clutter can make it look a lot bigger.

Bills: Let’s keep the bills out of the bedroom. If you have a desk in your bedroom where you normally write out the, bills, then at least keep them out of sight. Nobody wants to be reminded of the bills that need to be paid when you are trying to relax or get romantic.

Laundry Basket: Stray socks in the bedroom can be a real eye-sore, but so can a laundry hamper that has the arms of your sweater hanging out of it. So, if you must keep your laundry basket in your bedroom, then try to find a place for it where it will be out of sight.

Exercise Equipment: While many of us are trying hard to stay in shape these days, the bedroom is supposed to be relaxing and romantic. Try placing your exercise equipment in another room.

Television: Some people say that a television doesn’t belong in a bedroom. I think I disagree. I agree that electronic equipment and wiring doesn’t look very romantic and it can definitely be distracting if you are trying to get romantic with your partner and you can’t seem to pull their attention away from Bob Barker, but I also think a television can also lend itself to a romantic evening, as well. It’s great for watching an erotic video together while snuggling in bed and getting in the mood. How about a compromise? Consider hiding your television and other electronic equipment inside a large armoire, so it doesn’t take away from the romantic look of your room. And how about turning it off while you make love, so you can both remain focused on each other instead of the Showcase Showdown.

Arguments: Some experts say it’s a great idea to try to keep your arguments out of the bedroom.

Inhibitions: I think it’s a great idea to keep those out of the bedroom, as well.

Building The Perfect Nightstand: Rummaging through drawers or making excessive trips to the closet, kitchen, or bathroom to find needed items can really break a romantic mood. Plan ahead and keep the most common items that you use during sex close by. Here are some items you may wish to keep handy in your nightstand.

Spray bottle of water (can be used to spray your bodies to keep you cool during a break in the action, can be used to spray in your mouth for a refreshment, or can be used to spray onto your water-based lube to revive it.) Or, instead of a squirt bottle, you could use a squirt gun, to add an element of fun to your lovemaking. Lubrication (Here’s a great trick for you. If you’ve ever used a water-based lube, you know that sometimes they can get a little sticky and you have to add a bit of water to revive them. I take an empty flip-top lube bottle and fill it with water. Then I tape it back to back with my lube bottle. That way, I always have my lube and water together.) Reading material: Katie shares with us that it might be a great idea to keep a how-to book, expand-your-horizons information, or erotic literature that you can share as a couple. Condoms or other birth control Incense Toys Spare batteries Extra candles Lighter/Matches/Electric lighter (Great for lighting candles) Small towels Wet towelettes Tissues Sexy board game Body Glitter / Body Toppings Massage oils Scented lotion Erotic Videos

Extravagant Ideas: Here are some ideas that are a bit more extravagant in nature. If you have the extra floor-space and the extra money, you may wish to consider some of these ideas:

Freestanding Fireplace: Cuddling in front of a fireplace is cozy and terrific! Making love in front of the fireplace can be really hot, too! Can you feel the flames warming your inner thighs as your partner spreads your legs to give you oral sex?

Spa/Jacuzzi: These can be great for relaxing tired, aching muscles. They are also great for cuddling. And if you position yourself just right, in the flow of the jets, they can have some unbelievable self-loving applications as well!

Aquarium: Aquariums are relaxing and add a touch of nature to your room.

Fountains/Waterfalls: Water is symbolic for renewal. A tabletop fountain or waterfall can be a relaxing addition to your bedroom.

Ideas For The Adventurous: The following ideas are for the adventurous types.

Love swings add an element of weightlessness and exciting fun to your lovemaking. Take a look for yourself HERE.

Ceiling Mirrors: Adding mirrors to your ceiling can turn your lovemaking into both an exhibitionist’s and voyeur’s dream at the same time.

If you are into (or would like to try out) light bondage.

Liberator Shapes: These make trying out new positions easy, fun, and exciting.

If you are really adventurous and you like to give your partner strip tease dances, why not think about putting a stripper stage and pole in your bedroom. They come complete with many options such as lighting, fog, choice of flooring surface material, choice of pole material, and more, you’ll find more info HERE.

Peek-a-boo Screen: If you’ve ever wanted to give your partner a strip tease, a peek-a-boo floor screen is the perfect prop. For a good tease, try dancing behind it so they can only see your silhouette.

Sexy Ways To Invite Your Lover To Bed: Now that you have some ideas for creating a sexier bedroom, how about a few sexy tips for inviting that special someone to come to bed with you?

Many women enjoy being invited to bed, rather than just being expected to go to bed with you.

Many women enjoy it when you lead them in to the bedroom by the hand. Offer her your hand. Invite her to come to bed with you. When she grasps it, kiss her hand, then hold it while you lead her into the bedroom.

Ladies, if you are in the mood and you want your man to come to bed with you, try leading him to the bedroom by the penis. He will certainly get the message and will probably love your initiative.

Conclusion: Turning your bland bedroom into a beautiful boudoir can really heighten your ability to relax and feel romantic. Just experiment with these ideas until you find what really works for you. When you can walk into your bedroom and it feels like a romantic, relaxing retreat and really has a positive effect on your mood, then you’ve done a great job!

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